When I first joined the airline, I was very quick to apologize, making me an easy target. I was picked on very early on in my career. I said sorry to everything, even when I did not do anything wrong. This went on surprisingly, for not very long. I remembered an incident where a leading flight attendant bullied me just about the entire way on our first leg. I was miserable. I apologized just about every 5 minutes. It was ridiculous! I remembered checking into the hotel upon arrival and somehow it dawned on me and I made the decision that day, that I will only apologize if I did something wrong. On the way back, the person picked on me again and I can remember the gist of the conversation to this day. The villain was blocking the ice chest and I said "excuse me" in order to get to some ice. She turned around and accused me for being rude. She insisted that I had to say "excuse me, please." I told her straight to her face that "excuse me" in itself is polite. That woman almost died and threw the biggest tantrum. She marched her way to the supervisor in first class. I was called upon. I explained myself and he took my side. He got her out of my galley and told her that she wasn't allowed there because it wasn't her assigned area in the first place. She left and my life for the rest of the journey was heavenly. I was able to do my job and not have to deal with a bully. Since that day, I don't think I've ever apologize unless I am wrong and it's been worth it.

I don't really remember the day that I learned to say "no" without feeling bad about it. Over the years, I've become pretty diplomatic. I've been able to say "no" and also able to accept "no" as an answer. Most of the time, I ended up being the person to tell that others that it's ok if they have to say "no" to me. It has worked out quite well. It helps me keep friends who are worth the while and get rid of those who aren't. I think it is important that true friends are able to do so with each other without having to feel obligated.

My mother was pretty good at saying "no" to good things and she definitely cannot accept "no" as an answer. The last request she made of me still infuriates me to no end. During my flying days, I've accumulated quite a few things. One thing that I truly love was a set of silk carpet from Turkey. The last trip that I saw my mother, I asked for the carpet and she willingly took out one. She then asked if she could keep the 2nd one and my answer was "no." Her face turned color and she rolled her eyes. She was instantaneously pissed off. The 2nd piece was a gift and I really wanted it back. The carpet was with her for years and it was stuffed away. It was never put on display or treated like something that was loved and treasured. So, I said "no." When I asked her for the 2nd time where my carpet was, she shot back at me and said "I don't know." I knew then that I'll never see the carpet again. My nieces and nephew just stood there as all of these transpired. I don't think they have ever seen anyone having the guts to say "no" to my mother. Their faces were as pale as a ghost. This summer when I went back to my brother's house and guess what I saw? my beautiful silk carpet being used as a rag. What a B^&^*&^*!! Why? I was fuming! but what can I do? That piece of carpet was just another beautiful thing that she destroyed. Kudos mum!