In the midst of the celebration, I am dreading my MIL visit at the end of the month. Her narcissism is a painful reminder of my mother's cruelty and manipulation. Like my mother, my MIL is always right. She is crude and makes convincing statement based on unfounded truth. She spent seconds to form a conclusive reality about someone or something and spent years trying to convince you of her reality. One conclusion she made of me is that I do not accept gay people and since then, she spent just about every opportunity she has to convince me that gay people are the best people around and every time she mentioned someone who happen to be gay, she made sure that I am aware of their sexual orientation. Personally, I find that extremely offensive for several reasons. Professionally, I am an advocate for diversity. Her conclusion insulted my conviction. I also find it offensive that she highlight the sexuality of a gay person and not a straight person. By doing so, she reduce the quality of the person based on his/her sexuality.  To me, a person is a person, good or bad, and who they sleep with has nothing to do with it. 

It's just annoying. I want to be nice but I am also wasting a lot of time being passive aggressive. I really don't want to spend time with her and therefore, I am not taking time off. While I would LOVE to go on my life as if she wasn't here, I also feel rather intimidated if I don't pick up a thing or two. She has concluded that I am too "sloppy" for her son when she first met me while she has cobwebs in the front porch of her trailer that is older than me. I am still very insulted when she took out her camera when I was vacuuming during her last visit as if it was monumental event. There were countless events where she has be absolutely inappropriate with me and I have kept my mouth shut. Part of the reason I kept my mouth shut is to keep the peace. Part of it is because I don't believe I can get through to her. Part of it, I was often dumbfounded by her ignorance.

I so want to speak up this time. I so want to not give a damn. I so want to look her in her face and ask her to shove it. I so want to put her in her place. I feel that it's about time someone says something. It's about time I learn to speak up for myself. What do ya think?