Since I started blogging I must say, this is the most peaceful state of mind I've ever experienced during this time of the year. The nice warm family memories is more in the forefront than ever before. I almost had to dig deep to remember how I used to dread this time of the year. Putting up the tree was chaotic but it quickly became memories of two overly excited boys "helping" to set it up. Jumping off the couch, ripping off boxes with breakable ornaments, hanging them at the very edge of the limp, boxes thrown all over the place, sound of ornament rolling on the floor and laughing children. My boy is getting so excited seeing Christmas lights. I am anticipating our trip to see the folks in a few weeks. The thought of my in-laws slaving away to put up light for my son to see is very comforting. I can't wait to see the boy's face when he sees his Papa's house all lit up. I am looking forward to taking him to the park. Seeing him play with his cousins. Getting him all dressed up and just spending time with family. This is all I've ever wanted and I will savor every minute of it.

Been a little fascinated and obsessed with a few shows regarding individuals leaving the polygamist society. I was never raised in a compound and neither do I have many mothers, but I can relate to them because I was raised with a facade.  The perfect child of a minister with his "perfect" wife. Although I never had to "escape" into the outside world, I was very ill prepared for the outside world. That's why I relate to their warp perception of the real world because I was once there. I see myself quite differently now, but it took close to twenty years for me to be where I am. The individuals in the show have so much more hurdles to overcome. If it took me twenty years, I wonder how long it will take them?