He was a missionary. He read and spoke Chinese and he was my mother's "true love" or at least that was what it seemed. They met when she was living with another missionary. She talked affectionately about their car ride and how she used to tease him. Calling him a monkey because he loved peanuts. I must have been in one of those car ride as she talked about an incident where I fell asleep with my doll in the backseat when a cop pulled them over and mistaken my doll as a "baby." Who knows what happened?  Sounded like they both really liked each other. Either he did not pursue her or she got impatient and married my dad. He stayed in contact with us almost our entire lives. He tried to make the best of things. Getting my father to England for a missionary class. Hoping that my father would do better, believing that my mother was unhappy in her marriage. He visited us whenever he could. He would hug my mother so tight and couldn't let her go each time when he said goodbye. He bought us presents and I still have the doll he got me almost 40 years ago. My mother in turn, named her first born after him. My father simply sat in the way side and watched. Scandalous!!

He did eventually get married and have children of his own. I visited him when I was in the airline. He was more than thrilled to see me. I met one of his son and his wife. He impressed me as a kind man. He was so tender to his son. I learned one of my very first life lesson that day. A simple nonchalant response to a wrong turn was how this man showed me that things did not have to be blown out of proportion just for the heck of it. During my visit, I also saw in his eyes that he saw my mother in me. 

For years, I would tease my mother about why she didn't marry him. She always said that things have passed and she's now too old. Looking back, she really did that man a favor. She would have destroyed him.She would have found reason to hate him and make her children hate him. She would have done to him what was done to my father. But I can't deny that she maintained a little girl dizziness each time his name was being brought up. Perhaps things might have been different if she would have ended up with him but I seriously doubt it.