............ part 2
I am still amazed by her level of disregard, although not one bit surprised. I have to say that I am handling it in the most appropriate way when dealing with a narcissistic. I make no extra effort for her and neither do I go out of the way to make her visit a living hell. She continues to treat my son like he never existed. When my 3 year old handed her a block for her to stack, she merely did her obligation and walked out the room. When we were playing outside, she was there and she told the dog that he was her baby and then catching herself,  she quickly included my son to finish the sentence. By being nonchalant and non engaging, it must drive her nuts. She definitely puts in more effort to please me. To the extent of tasting the cookies that I baked. I didn't ask if she liked them and I didn't care. I said very little, giving her just about nothing to work with. Her one effort to engage me fell in the tank. She made a mockery of a person on TV because he wore a turban. Calling him Osama Bin Laden and kept going on and on that she can't stand him. I didn't let the comments bother me and I completely ignored her. She finally called on me to ask what I thought of "that guy." I told her, there is nothing to think about. I simply said that he is Sikh and they wear turbans, and where I come from, that is one of the major religion. Immediately she turned the conversation about my country and then concluded that she asked about it because she just wanted to learn more. She turned the entire conversation around so seamlessly, it is an art form! I have been married to my husband almost 12 years and she is suddenly interested in my country? Oh please!

Last night, my husband was so stressed by her BS and I suggested that today he should take a different approach and not even try to plan for anything. He did just that and what a difference. He went about his day like she never existed. When she woke up, he took her to the mall, dropped her off at the spa and that was that. He didn't pace around trying to make the most of her visit while she turns around and spit fire at his time and effort. Tomorrow, the last day of the visit will be the same. I reminded him to go about his day again like she never existed. If she makes last minute demands, tell her no and for me, my tentative plan to go out for dinner tomorrow for the last day of her visit is completely out the door. I may just get pizza and be done with and then get rid of her.

For the longest time, my husband and I had discussed the possibility of having her move closer to us. Recently we just realized what a bad idea that would be. This visit, she placed hints that she wants to move by us and we simply did not entertain her at all. With me, she finally outright said it. I hear it but it made no difference with me one way or the other. We also have decided that if that is what she wants, we will have no part in the planning and supporting. She is on her own and I won't feel bad for anything at all. In me, I hope and pray that she won't be able to get it together to move here. I have dealt with one my entire life and I'm not dealing with this one.