Out of the three of us, who is her pet? At the end of her life, it was definitely my eldest brother. The one who is jobless more than he is with a job. One who does nothing but have three kids and being supported by his wife and siblings. That is who she has chosen as her favorite by default because in her own words "no matter what, I have one by my side."
 
Well, with a pet child, inevitably, there is a pet grandchild and that would be my nephew. She always defended him at all cost. Slept with him from infancy until a point where it borders inappropriateness as the boy reaches puberty. She constantly asked me for money to send him to camps, trips, or pay for his other expenses. She gets extremely defensive if I dare to suggest that the boy needs to work if he wants money.  Her favoritism was so obvious that surrounding tongues were wagging. They said that she favors boy more than girl. It is not uncommon in our culture to favor the boy but that is not where her favoritism stem from. She was so cruel towards my eldest niece. At three, my niece was expected the impossible. My nephew on the other hand can do no wrong. My mother harbored a resentment towards my niece from the day when that baby at the age of one, favored her babysitter than grandma. That was my niece's crime - an unforgivable crime in the eye of a narcissistic.

I don't think I was ever THE favorite but I was never "the hated" one either when we were growing up. Neither one of us was.  While my eldest brother has always been lazy, my mother always had an excuse for him. The two of us who are younger, are the opposite. We are very driven. We get good grades and most of all, we made her look good. Also in the mind of a narcissistic, her children can do no wrong.

Between the two younger ones, I think my second brother fell out of favor first. His crime was to soar and find his path. Very quickly after his departure, she realized she has lost all control of him. While we went on with our lives, she always confide in me telling me not to reveal any "family struggles" to my second brother because she "didn't want  him to worry." To this day, I don't really understand what her motivation was for keeping the "secret." Her script went from ranting and raving about her son who is studying overseas to "I don't even know what to say to him." For years she waited for my second brother to graduate and he kept going. From undergrad, to postgrad, to doctoral. He did it all on his own with nothing but a few dollars that my parents gave him. A few dollars that was not even enough to pay for the first semester. But to them, they have given him the world and for that, he owes them the world, and he failed to deliver. That's how he fell out of favor.

How I fell out of favor is much the same. I followed my heart. I followed my path and I have the nerve not to give them the world.