3 years ago, the disease of alcoholism threatened to destroy my marriage. It was another very tough phase of my life. It was round the second weekend of January 2010, one of the recorded coldest day in our region in 30+ years. I slept on the floor on my infant son's room. Huddled with only a thin infant blanket, wondering where will we go from here. The week began with only my second week back to work. I returned to a new place, new people. I brought my son out of the house before dawn the next after my life came crashing down on me. We sat in the dark parking lot of the daycare center. With him cooing in the back, while I sat and wonder, and my heart ache to no end. I knew what I had to do if he did nothing. I made my expectation clear to him. He researched, he quit drinking and went into therapy. He stepped up to the plate and have not had another sip to this day.

I had plan to go visit my parents that year. To let them meet the grandchild that they didn't care for. But after my personal life went topsy-turvy, I knew that comforting my parents is not top of my priority. The trip to see my parents had to be postponed for obvious reason. Healing my own wounds and reconnecting to my family is everything that I needed to do and that is exactly what I did.

This event ripped open old wounds that were never completely healed. Reminders of how they were never there for me and that they never will be. A reminder that they will be pleased to see my down fall because to them, I probably deserve it. For as long as I don't give them money, I am not worthy. I remember driving to work one day and a feeling a sheer hatred towards my parents came upon me for the very first time.

That year, my focus was on healing. Begrudgingly, I decided that they were not to get a penny of what was saved for the trip. I used some money to go on a short vacation. A rejuvenation that we both needed as we face our next chapter. I also agreed to put all the money for the trip for our bathroom renovation. It was long overdue. It was one of the many things that I had to sacrifice in order to give my parents monthly allowance, pay for some of their random bills, and to plan for trips to see them. Sacrifices upon sacrifices that were overlooked and under appreciated. I have had enough. From then on, my heart and my relationship with my parents, my mother in particular have become completely superficial.