A cousin from my husband side got married today. Pictures of her proud father was posted on social network site the last few days. I felt very sad today because those pictures reminded me of what I yearned for all my life and what I never will have. It still amazes me how raw those feelings can be. I can't help but wonder what happened to our wedding album that we gave my parents as a gift. I have not seen it in years and it wouldn't surprise me, that it got thrown away. Knowing that my parents weren't be able to attend our wedding, we hired a videographer to capture the moment. They never did view the video nor did they ever shown any interest. Maybe that's why I am sad. I tried so hard to include my parents in my life and I got shot down time and time again. I can't help but wonder what goes through their mind when I got married? I know they weren't happy for me and they certainly weren't proud of me. I can't help but be a little envious that this cousin of ours to have a father who had waited all his life for this day. To see his little girl all grown up. To see her happy. To see her finally find someone who cares for her. To finally be able to walk her down the aisle. To finally have his dance as a father of the bride. What privilege it is to have such parents.