Just received a text from a childhood friend. She had just delivered a beautiful son on my son's birthday in August, and her parents and sister are there. I have known this family since I was five. We celebrated many Christmases and New Year at her grandmother's house. Those were very fond memories to say the least.They immigrated soon after and I didn't see them for years until I moved there for my first job. It was her parents that housed me for several months until I found my own place. Me and her started to bond and we became like sisters. When she finished college and moved back home, we spent many after work hours together going to movies and dinner. Soon, she settled down and through our ups and downs, we kept in touch. Separately, so did our parents.

When my mother was almost at the end of her life journey, I got a call from her, a directive from her mother for me to give my mother a call. I briefly told her my side of the story and she didn't feel that there was a need for me to tell her more. She felt that she did her part as her mother's daughter and that was that. We have never talked about my parents ever since. It was of no interest to her and our friendship remains pure to this day.

The text I received tonight was that her mother wants to talk to me before she leaves tomorrow. What would she say to me? She would kill me if she showed me with an ounce of kindness. The very fact that she is there by her daughter's side showed me yet again, my mother's abandonment of me is not cultural. The text makes me wonder if she would she try to bring up the past? If she does, it wouldn't be the first time one of my mother's friend came to try to talk some sense into this ungrateful daughter.

At this fragile state of mind, as I'm grieving my own lost, I have my past haunting me. The call from her will be a stark reminder of the past. As I am touched by her interest to touch base with me, I am also uncertain if I can handle any accusation at this time. Therefore I am yet again, an emotional wreck.