Friday, October 18, 2013

Received frantic messages from my oldest niece yesterday. Purging all about her father, my golden child brother's latest conquest. He is cheating again. This time with a local woman who attends the same church. Pictures of them were openly paraded on both their social media wall. He takes my youngest niece to all his rendezvous expecting her to play along, while keeping his secret. My oldest niece has had the suspicion for awhile and finally forced the truth out of her sister. In her tears, she felt torn. To tell her mother or not to tell. If she is to tell, when is a good time?

My golden child brother's cheating behavior came to light over 10 years ago. He was laying a prostitute while his wife was pregnant with their 3rd child. The truth came to light when one of my classmate decided to tell on him. My mother, whom for years has always characterized this brother of mine as the most noble, had to face the hard truth that he is a liar and a cheater. That, he is someone that cannot be trusted. Soon after the birth of my youngest niece, my sister in law decided to stay married but she packed up and left to work in a nearby country. Leaving the children with my parents.

As the oldest in the family, my niece was left to fend for herself while shouldering the responsibility to protect her younger siblings. To make matter worse, my mother hated her from the day she chose her sitter over grandma at the tender age of one. My mother did not hold back her wrath against my oldest niece. Making her life a living hell.

My niece made a decision to leave soon after the met a boy a few years ago. Staying over at his place, more often than being home. These days, she only goes by to check in on her sister. Each visit usually ends up with arguments with her father. Each visit, he will insist that she gives him money. He even went as far as insisting that she pays him to take the youngest to school. My niece pays the mortgage and the bills, while he stays jobless and use her money to pay for his woman. Apparently, there were others. The children and my parents have seen love letters sent by other women over the years. Something I had never known.

I called my niece as soon as I got those messages. While navigating my brother's foolishness, her mother came up with the brilliant idea of transferring the name of the current house to my nephew, selling it, borrowing more money from the bank and then my niece is suppose to buy another home for the family.

It came to a point during our conversation, I asked her about her aspiration. These are her parents' mistakes and at some point, I told her that she has to start thinking about herself and her future. As for the cheating, I reminded her that her parents' marriage were long gone. If the other woman wants him, we should wrap him up and deliver him straight to her doorstep. As for the plan of buying another home for the family, if she were to do that, when will she be able to buy her own home and start her own family. I reminded her that these should not be her responsibility. If she wants to help, she has to set limits. Otherwise, she is not doing justice to herself and her future.

Knowing what I know, I don't think anyone has ever told her to consider her own well-being. This niece of mine is my heart. She was the first born and I always remember how excited I was when she finally arrived. I showered her with toys and clothes, and she always know that I love her. I don't always have a chance to talk to her but when I do, I try to steer her towards the direction that will be best for her. When I first found out about the boy, I warned her about the birds and the bees. She listened and I am pleased that she has protected herself thus far. As always, I can only guide her along. It is unfortunate that her parents do not have her best interest at heart.

At this time, I can only say a prayer for her. A prayer of strength. I also pray that God sends angels to protect and guide her. I pray that God will take that burden away from her so that she can finally soar and be whom God has intended for her to be. I want to see her happy. I want to see her fulfilled. I want her to finally have someone who will love her and protect her. It is about time.

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