I've been checking in with my nieces the last two days. Both girls have very different needs. I have my own perspective on things that is quite different from what they are used to. But the beauty is, I am in a unique position where they do trust me enough to reach out to me. In the past, my views are often undermined by my mother. The girls are aware of grandma's hatred and resentment towards me and will never openly defy her authority. But now that she is no longer here, they no longer have that hurdle to navigate. I do catch myself getting lazy and wanting to be uninvolved. Also, the process is rather frustrating as I want them to get it now. But in reality, these take time. No one knows how long the process will be. And there is also a possibility that they will never get it. But for now, I will try to be a good aunt and be there for them. I have to stand true to myself and not enable them or cripple them anymore than they have been. My hope is to help them navigate through this hurdle and future challenges so that they can end up as winners. I can only take one step at a time. My youngest niece said that she really yearns for the day where she has a family that is filled with laughter.  I can only tell the youngest that the only way out is to stay focus and work hard. To make changes on her own behaviors and do better. Being young, she disputed my advice and feels that she has done her best. She was defensive and I can't help but see my mother in her when she acts that way. My mother is always defensive and you can never tell her how to do anything better. I hope she is different. I hope it is only the age and her immaturity that is getting in the way. The oldest is still clearly distraught by her father's cheating behaviors and her loyalty towards her mother. How I wish she can detach herself from her parents' foolishness and start to focus more on her own future. She is the caregiver and that should not be her responsibility. Unlike the little one, she didn't openly disagree. But she is still not detached. She is still very reactive and not getting anything resolve. This is only the beginning and I have remind myself to be patient. To give them a chance. To always be a soft place for them to land. To always love them. And at the end of the day, I have to accept whatever will be will be.