Monday, June 10, 2013

My second brother's visa expired before my son turned one and he had to return to our home country. For other family, it would have been natural to use the time to spend more time with immediate family. But my family is no ordinary family and my second brother ended up living with a close family friend for the duration of time he was there. He didn't even tell our parents that he was in the country and he really did not want to go see them. While he probably would deny this, he was hurt by them. While he had enough sense to dismiss all the years of accusations, it took a toll on him. Subsequently it was I who convinced him to at least pay a visit so that mum and dad can see him and not so much for him to go see them . They visited for a few hours and they cried. Mum was probably pathetic. Playing the sick victim role and crushed that she was abandoned. Knowing my mother, she can certainly string it out. She never took any responsibility for all the cruel remarks that she had made and the lies that she had concocted over the years. The countless time her hatred towards us was on the forefront simply because she wanted more money. Pictures of their brief visit were not pleasant to look at to say the least. Mum looked bad and so did dad. They had no life and I was completely shocked by their appearance. To some extent, it almost seemed that she was waiting for that last visit from my brother so that she could do what she had planned. That is to end her own life.

I just responded to a comment on the online support group on a similar incident. Her mother also took her own life by stopping all medications.  It was interesting that I caught myself ending my response by saying that I did not regret not going to see my mother on her death bed because she did not deserve to have one last visit with me. I feel very strongly that she took her life as an attempt to put one last dagger in her children. For us to regret what we did to her. I just can't forgive her for not only the years of emotional manipulation, she took it to the end and tried to leave us in an emotional shamble. It just mind boggling that someone is capable of something so cruel. It is so bizarre.

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