Conscious memory is quite different from the unconscious. However, the unconscious sometimes present itself when we least expects it. While in my earlier post, I can only recall a somewhat happy childhood, I also realized that every time I envision where I come from, I always envisioned it as a place of misery. A place that is less than. I always envisioned being rescue or doing something that will improve or remove me or take me away from where I was. Therefore, how can my childhood be happy? If it was happy and full of contentment, I would want to stay or emulate. None of that is true. Today as I look back, I still feel that same dissatisfaction. Not because I was ever physically abused but I certainly went through years of emotional blackmail. That left scars unseen to others. Scars hidden even from me for years to come. I guess I can't pick my past but I am glad I left.