This Christmas for the first time in over 12 years I did not make the trip up north to see my Narcissistic mother in law. The decision not to go was made months prior and as the time approached, my husband's agony became increasingly more apparent. He was short and finally the late phone call from her pushed him over the edge. He regretted taking it out on my son's toy but admitted that it has been very difficult for him. It opened up our channel of communication and it helped to give him some perspective. He finally decided not to tell her in advance and to lay the truth out for her to see after he arrived.

When he arrived alone, he merely told her "they're not here!" She was clearly upset and her immediate response was "I need a drink!" She also had to ditch the idea of taking us on a field trip to walmart to pick an air mattress for us to sleep on that night. She clearly did not prepare for our visit and had we gone, we would probably have to sleep on the floor on the first night as the battery on the air mattress would have needed an overnight charge before we can use it. When the opportunity came, my husband told her about how she taunted me with a bottle during her visit in February and she said "I did no such things." Before long, he realized that they were going no where and he simply stopped as he could not get through to her. She also said that she was always good to me. That she would do anything to mend our relationship but that was also followed by, "I am too old to change." Best part is, he told her that I will only speak to her after she sees a therapist. Apparently her face dropped after hearing that.

She still have made no attempts to speak to me. Last I heard, she is working on writing me a letter. What is there to write if she has done no wrong? What can the letter possibly do when she has no insight whatsoever? Being who I am, I am curious in terms of the content but I also know if I am to open the letter, I will have more stuff to get aggravated on. For now, I wait to see how long before the letter finally arrived, if ever. If it does, the best is really to return it right back to sender, unopened. That should send a clear message as to where I stand.