Sunday, April 27, 2014

This post marks our 13th year wedding anniversary. As a couple, we have each grown to be much better person today than we ever was. Interestingly, 13 years ago neither one was us realized that we each have a Narcissistic Mother. In fact, we both thought we had great mothers. Everything his mother said was given such great regard.  My husband was in awe of his mother. As for me, I wanted nothing more but to fulfill my mother's every wish. I sacrificed more than I should just so I can give it to her. 

We both suffered as a result of it. Given both mothers have opposite traits within the narcissistic spectrum, our symptoms are very different. I am very indifferent, on the exterior at least. Almost always uncertain how to react. Him on the other hand is very reactive to the slightest thing. 

The core of who we are is a result of years of trying to navigate ways to fulfill the impossible needs of our narcissistic mothers. My husband never measured up to his "fabulous" mother while I can never fulfill the "wrongdoings" of the world that my mother had to endure.  It is simply insane that we are not more insane..

In recent years, we have both come to grip with the reality. The price I paid for my epiphany is rage. My husband's paid the price of disappointment.

Since I cut contact with his mother, this anniversary will be the first with nothing from her. It is actually rather nice. Because I no longer have to put on a facade. Instead, we just took our time for ourselves. Went to a local seafood festival, walked around in the sun, swam in the pool, and ended our weekend with a dinner at our favorite restaurant. Food was good. Just us three as a family.

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